Friday, March 07, 2008

Conspiracy Theories

As the search for Mas Selamat enters its 9th day, with no sight even of his underwear (which must smell terribly by now), many conspiracy theories are beginning to float around. One has it that Mas Selamat is actually quite dead, not in the forests near the Whitley Detention Centre, but in Whitley Detention Centre itself. According to this conspiracy theory, Mas Selamat died of some cause in the Centre for reasons yet unknown but it was decided to put on a show that he had 'escaped'. Did anybody see him running away? No. He just disappeared, right? Right! News of his faux escape was intentionally let out in order to draw out his remaining accomplices on the island, and even those outside it in order to wipe out the JI once and for all. Why did you think Interpol was notified anyway? Better to use a dead man while, err...he is dead, to get the rest of his gang. That'll be an inspired move.

Another conspiracy theory has it that an important person's son/daughter had been kidnapped by the JI. In order to secure his/her release, a secret agreement was reached to let Mas Selamat go. But since hostage swapping is not the Singapore way, the next best thing was decided on - let him 'escape'. It was all assisted. So the great toilet escape/break is not so great after all. It is more like the great toilet flush. Is it any wonder that he is still not found?

Yet another conspiracy theory has him unknowingly tagged (electronically) and allowed to escape so that he can eventually lead the police and the international community to his mother-of-all lairs. This way, his whole gang can be eliminated in one fell swoop. Of course, a variation of this theory is that his accomplices will find out that he has led the police to them so they will kill Mas Selamat for betrayal of the highest order. This is an old Chinese strategy - borrow one's knife to kill.

A fourth conspiracy theory goes like this. With more poor and needy people in Singapore nowadays, it just isn't morally right to keep giving Mas Selamat a free roof over his head, with free valet, cooks and guards to tend to him, notwithstanding the unexpectedly huge government surplus last year, right? Like the great General Douglas 'I will Return' MacArthur said in his brilliant leap-frogging strategy in the Pacific War, 'Let's ignore these enemy soldiers that remain on the islands, let the jungles eat/kill/finish them for us'. He can only run into the nearby forest which he can never hope to leave because his face will be plastered everywhere. The police will put on a show of searching for him for as long as it takes for the jungle to kill him. It is likely that he will be dead in a week, at most. Thank you, General MacArthur (and the military historians from the National University of Singapore, who suggested this).

A fifth theory has it that the US is secretly putting pressure on Singapore to dump its Internal Security Act, which allows detention without trial, though they conveniently overlook Guantanamo Bay in their own backyard. In order to appease a great ally, Mas Selamat was allowed to escape so that he will either lead the police to his accomplices, die in the jungle, or any variations of the above theories.

All these account for the question on everyone's lips when the press went to town only 4 hours after his actual escape to report on the event: how can anyone escape from Singapore's prison? Easy - he was intentionally let out. That 4 hours was necessary to cover any tracks and destroy incriminating evidence of a conspiracy.

Have you heard of any other conspiracy theory?

Image source: Author: Michael Ponton

1 comment :

Agagooga said...

How about "The War On Terror is a sham"?

Then again we might as well blame the Illuminati.